She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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