the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
