she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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