What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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