Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
