some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
