You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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