i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
