rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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