I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize