Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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