I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
