Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
