just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
