He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Non-Jews are for practice
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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