omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
