Kiss
Puke
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
