I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
