Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I FOUND THE LEGS
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
