It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
