she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
All I want is dick and wine.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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