I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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