My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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