I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
