We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize