my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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