I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
No subtext here. People are naked.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
