i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
