Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
