Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
