The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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