just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
