I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
