Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
