I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
