did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
