i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
My balls are so social today.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize