I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
