I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I have post one night stand depression
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
