Don't make out with my wife yet
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
