Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
