Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
