Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
