Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
