Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
