i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
