My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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