Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
