I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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