We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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