I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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