Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
