Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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