sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
