last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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