Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
