i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
