260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
