I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
