I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
