Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
