1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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