Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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