I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
