Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
