Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
