he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize