New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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