did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
