this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
