wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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