we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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