Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
