I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Randomize