my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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