but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My vagina is officially offended.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
