Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
